I have known people to enter into life-long, faithful relationships for completely different reasons. Some, because they were so deeply connected and in love with a person that they could not imagine life without them. Others have devoted themselves to a partner because they were compatible – stable, shared values, the same desire to have or not have a family, interests, world view, etc and together life was pleasant and fulfilling (perfect on paper but not emotionally satisfying). And while they may not have realized it at the time - although some did – others have committed to a companion because they were flat out not sure someone better would come along.
I see graduate or professional school in much the same way. Let’s start with the student who decides to go to graduate school to study education policy. They think about it, read about it, and take every policy class possible – it’s the passion around which everything else rotates. All you need is love.
Another student makes a well-researched decision to pursue an advanced degree in Engineering Management. It’s practical, a perfect match for their research experience, opens doors to leadership positions and increases salary potential, making the quality of life they’ve dreamed of possible. It works - but maybe the passion's not there. Nice house, precious kids, good job…what more could they want?
And then there’s the shot-gun student who goes right into a low-tiered MBA program because a. they’ll never go back if they don’t go now; b. the economy stinks anyway, so why not put off the inevitable and hang out in grad school for a while or c. there’s nothing they really want to do… there’s always a chance the MBA is exactly what they’ve been looking for. Right? The friends and family say “way to go”, “I hope you’ll be very happy” knowing all the while their friend/brother/roommate has jumped without looking.
The desire to love and be loved can color our view of a relationship. Similarly our desire to know where life is headed; to experience financial stability; to answer others’ questions about our plans and to feel successful can make grad school look like the best option when in fact, we haven’t thought about life “on the other side.” Will med school, law school, a PhD, MA or MS usher us into a career we truly love? Can we live hand in hand with that degree until death do us part? Through sickness and health? Can you live with the people (siblings?), the leadership and politics (in-laws?) the trials and celebrations (birth and loss) that come with the field (life commitment) you are considering? Most importantly, are you deeply connected, in love?
Love and grad school, grad school and love. Both huge commitments. Both questions of the heart. And though we can’t help with the romantic kind of decisions you’ll make while you’re here at Cal Poly, our Career Counselors can help you with the life-planning kind – like whether or not to pursue an advanced degree. Regardless of the reasons you’re considering graduate or professional school, we “get” the dilemma. We won’t tell you what to do, but we’ll listen and ask some crucial questions – then help you apply once you’ve decided/if you’ve decided it’s the right move for you. We’ll even say “way to go”…and mean it.
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